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Dystopia!

It's like a horrible disease! And in the future, everyone will have it!

I spent some time with Icepunk on Monday - the last time we'll see each other until after he returns from Boot Camp in June. We saw The Pursuit of Happyness. (Don't even get me started... "Happyness"...) Then we sat around at a local Taco Hell chilling, eating, and watching as each morbidly obese patron crammed food into the eternal void of their stomach.

It was a sight to see. ("To see," that is, if you enjoy the magical feeling of revulsion.)

Eventually, I got to thinking about a future where energy is at a premium. After all, we've all heard that the raw oil in the planet will be completely consumed in approximately five minutes, which kinda cramps our style yo. Even our best attempts at alternative sources of energy tend to have one disastrous effect or another. (For example, did you know that converting to wind power would destroy all weather patterns on planet Earth and reduce our suburban homes to rows and rows of blackened husks?)

And then it hit me! What were we thinking?! We've been searching for alternative sources of energy for decades, and the real answer has been staring us in the mirror the entire time! Morbidly obese people are full of healthy lipids: A wonderful source of energy!

We already have a pretty well-established blood donation infrastructure in place, so all we need to do is add fat donation to the menu. A little privatization and legislation to make the process mandatory, and voila! Dystopia! From there, it's simple. The excess fat could be shipped to specialized plants where it would be dumped in the incinerator and put to good use.

It's not even hard to imagine cars being designed to run right off human fat. All you'd need to do is head off to the filling station and get the healthy lipids pumped right from the nearest donor into your car.

You'd need to use it all up fast though, or it'd start to smell...

In conclusion, Ladies and Gentlemen, let us all thank God that I'm not in control of our future. I'll have more to say later on, but I'm not even sure I want to hear it! X-D

ttyl

--Alex

Comments

Peter's picture

Hey...

"... full of healthy lipids ..." -Malex

That was my joke! :P

"A little privatization and legislation to make the process mandatory, and voila! Dystopia!" -Malex

Wait a minute... I thought we were solving fuel and energy problems of the future, not plotting absolute tyranny.

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Lord, Father, save me now, I pray

From mine heart's desire;

For to not in Thine order stay

Is a deadly chaos fire.

Remind me I am ever still

In the battlefield,

For to my wicked, fickle will

I would rather die than yield.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Alex's picture

And the joke was great!

That was why I used it. ;)

"I thought we were solving ... problems of the future, not plotting absolute tyrrany."

But my whole sarcastic point is that our "solutions" generally screw up nearly everything else.

--Alex Markley

"Fine time to go blind, son; now we're all going to die!"

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Peter's picture

...

At least it solves weight-loss problems...

-------

Lord, Father, save me now, I pray

From mine heart's desire;

For to not in Thine order stay

Is a deadly chaos fire.

Remind me I am ever still

In the battlefield,

For to my wicked, fickle will

I would rather die than yield.

“Timby, I know you’re awake! Don’t lie!” –Nixy, Contradictionary - Party

Good idea Bad idea

This reminds me of the old animaniacs episodes.

Good Idea: Finding an alternative fuel source where America has the most fuel.

Bad Idea: Putting Malex in charge of finding this fuel source.

Malex your mind must be on some wild ride for you to come up with these ideas. LOL. But I'm not saying my ideas would be much better. :-D

My idea ran close to the flux capasiter from Back to the Future. Problem is you risk a nuculear explosion with every crash that happens. 0_0

Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.

Magic is more than something that you see. Magic is something you feel. It's like the feeling you get when you hear that certain song or see that one person...that's real magic.

Two birds...

It's not even hard to imagine cars being designed to run right off human fat.

I'd buy one! Imagine filling your tank and getting liposuction at the same time!

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

yeah, but...

I'd buy one! Imagine filling your tank and getting liposuction at the same time!

wouldn't it hurt?

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What if a person who always lies says he is telling a lie? Let me think about it....(my brain)BOOOOM!!!! X-|

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I need a siggy...

Oh wait.

Alex's picture

Yeah...

Especially if you got in an accident. :-P

--Alex Markley

"Fine time to go blind, son; now we're all going to die!"

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Huh?

The gnome is at a loss, other than being very concerned for the sanity of malex and hoping the leak can be sealed before all sanity is gone (though the jury says it may already be too late)

Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.

Alex's picture

Sanity?

Never did me a bit of good...

--Alex Markley

"Fine time to go blind, son; now we're all going to die!"

Alex Markley

“Arrogance is bliss! Or is that ignorance? Either way, I win!”

Mariel 7's picture

Watchutalkin'bout

What is this Se-ni-tee of which you speak? :-P :-P :-P

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Sail across the waters that divide

Write across the page of history

Travel to a land that cannot hide

From the power of The Word to set you free

-- The Island, by IONA

SCI-EENNNNCE!!!! @_@ - Dr. Insano

Sanity? Never heard of it.

You must of meant sanitary, or something.

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What if a person who always lies says he is telling a lie? Let me think about it....(my brain)BOOOOM!!!! X-|

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I need a siggy...

Oh wait.

I read about it

What is this Se-ni-tee of which you speak?

It sounds like a Native American tribe to me. X-D

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Oh, oh!

I got it! I got it! No, no wait I don't.

I did have it, but something distracted me and I forgot.

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"You're a mermaid? Hmmm, that's interesting, 'cause I do believe I'm a cupcake. Do you ever get that feeling? I suppose not. I guess I'm just special."-An actual quote from your Royal Slushiness

Me too

I had it once too. But the doctor gave me some antibiotics and it cleared right up. X-D

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

Sen-i-tee

Doesn't Hitlery Clinton serve this at about 4 to all her esteemed colleagues?

Name a shrub after me...something prickly and hard to eradicate.

LOL!!

Senate tea! I get it! It took me a second, but I got it!

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I get up, I walk, I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing. - Hillel

We should take our comfort from God's word, not from the circumstances of our lives.

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